The Ballad of Lilly Polyester, or “oh, D&D…”

What do you mean, it’s not Friday yet!?  And it’s only 3pm!?  Ugh… how do I make the day go by quicker?  I guess I’ll post this to waste a few precious minutes…

I guess it merits a small introduction… the first time I played D&D, I wanted to make it special.  A rogue type character was suggested (the sneaky, thieving type), and Halflings are very good at it.  I decided to make it extra special by being lawful-good, which, as a thief, is difficult to reconcile.  Naturally, her name is a take on Tolkein’s Rosie Cotton.  She also liked buying hats.  And was a narcoleptic.  Fun was had.  But anyway…

She needed a back story, I wanted to make it special, and I had never written a ballad before… so this happened.  Enjoy.  (May it brighten the last bits of Thursday, and maybe Friday.)

The Ballad of Lilly Polyester

Come all ye trav’lers, be young or be old:
Gather a-round, let this story unfold
Of sweet little Lilly, breaking the mold-
A lawful good Halfling, also a rogue.

She came to our home, a wee girl not ten.
The next day she sought to set off again,
But we kept her and taught her our own regimen.

We tried to teach her our ways, Amen,
But she asked where she had come from: semen.
We explained then too about a hymen.
But she asked of her line that we disembogue.

“‘Off to the circus’ they did go one day,”
We told little Lilly to explain why they,
Without a warning were taken away.

See, she was born of a fam’ly renowned,
A fam’ly feared by the rich folk westbound.
They stole and they killed with their wee girl around:
A little girl Halfling, trained as a rogue.

To find them, she vowed, upon her birthday.
There was nothing this musician could say,
So we sent off our teen whose heart would not sway.

She grew up quick and she grew up clever,
Though her sleep-nerve a blow to the head did sever.
And she shopped and she spent what coin she had ever:
A most trendy Halfling, always en vogue.

Now, she was a’wand’rin’ far off a’west
And all of her skills were put to the test
It was a wonder she had not to dis-dress.

For life is not easy, as some fools might think
For a thief-murd’rer we had step back from the brink.
For a bond from the law to her heart we did link:
A lawful-good Halfling, a wandering rogue.

Brave Lilly the Halfling, narcoleptic rogue.

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